the good the bad the Vegas
12:53 p.m. on July 30, 2004

1. There was a button on some of the slot machines that said DRINK. Press it and Viola! A drink was delivered.

2. Air Conditioning everywhere. Even outside there were misting stations on most buildings that blew cold, wet air at you and even a pleasant, subtle scent.

3. Fresh oxygen pumped into the casinos.

4. Some new fangled pumping system that sucked up the cigarette smoke so you could barely smell it.

5. Buffets. Even though neither one of us could eat more than one plate of food at one sitting, it was nice to have a broad choice.

6. Neat hotels.

7. Light shows.

8. Alcoholic beverages sold in yard size.

9. Topless magic show.

10. Minutes away from beautiful desert surroundings.

11. Free parking.

12. Disneyland atmosphere.

13. Free performances & pirate acts.

14. Roller coasters on top of your hotel.

15. Mini New York, Paris, Venice, Greece, Mexico, Egypt, etc. on same block

16. Clever and amazing architecture.

17. Beautiful art painted on hotel lobby ceilings.

18. Black out curtains and sound proof windows in hotel room.

19. A mall in each hotel.

20. Chocolate chips…er…casino chips made of chocolate.

21. Pats of butter in the shape of your hotel.

22. So much to see, you don’t even get to 9% of it at the end of 4 days, especially with one whole day hijacked by in-laws.

23. Close to Grand Canyon, you can helicopter over in 45 minutes.

24. Wild burrows in desert.

25. Pool with waterfall.

26. Slot machines in 7-11, grocery stores, airport, everywhere.


1. A smoker’s town. You can smoke everywhere, even in hotel lobbies, hallways & bathrooms. There were ashtrays in the bathroom stalls, next to the soap dispenser, everywhere.

2. Too Hot!

3. Gross display of opulence.

4. Seemed very wasteful to dump so much water and electricity into one spot in the dessert.

5. Misogynistic, although I like to see breasts or sexy dancers as much as the next person.

6. Disneyland atmosphere.

7. A mall in each hotel.

8. Slot machines in 7-11, grocery stores, airport, everywhere.

9. Creates gambling addiction.

10. High odds of losing a lot of money.

11. Some weird insurance ordinance makes it so the newer hotel swimming pools do not go deeper than 4 feet. I like my heights high and my water DEEP.

12. Encourages over-tanning and too white teeth.

13. Lake water too cold to swim in, which was difficult for me to understand.

14. Had to leave your room to get coffee or pay $9 for room service to deliver.

15. Had to tip out the ass for everything.

16. 3 out of 4 hotel staff was very rude.

17. Getting accosted by Timeshare sales people.

18. Getting accosted by Chapel sales people.

19. Having to walk a mile from lobby to hotel room.

20. Having casino staff come over & jinx your game just when you are winning.

21. Losing $20 on the SPAM slot.

22. Losing $20 on the I Dream of Jeanie Slot when I was up by $50 at one point.

23. Being too scared to play Craps.

24. Missing the fountain show at the Bellagio.

25. Needing at least one more day to see some museums, the Simpson house and more natural wonders in the area.

26. Being jealous of the wave pool at the Mandalay Bay Hotel.

Space Holder. - February 12, 2012

BEAUTIFUL BOY - August 26, 2011

COUNTDOWN - July 13, 2011

SEXAY - June 16, 2011


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