Snot Spigot
1:31 p.m. on September 13, 2004
I am sick. Head full of goo. I am at work and probably infecting everyone. I can feel the germs circulating around my being and onto everything I touch. I am trying to stay in the safe confines of my cubicle, but it is difficult. While sorting the mail, I could sense that I was spreading my illness to each of my co-workers, one letter at a time. It is funny, because I am probably the least needed and the least smart out of everyone here. Everyone else has a Ph.D., M.D., R.N., M.N., A.O.C.N., M.S., Pharm.D., and god knows what all. They all have titles like: CEO, CFO, President, Vice President, Director of foo foo, Chief Science Officer and Data Dictionary Director (what is that?) I should go home, but I do not feel THAT bad, other than the pouring of snot and the brick in my brain. Plus, I donít want to waste my P.T.O. I will feel remorse if I am the cause of anyone here becoming ill, especially the VP of Operations who is 7-months pregnant with twin boys. I think I will put yellow crime scene tape around my cubicle walls.

I was looking for the below photo of germs to accompany the post when I found this:

During an hour's swimming at a municipal pool you will ingest 1/12 litre of urine.

In an average day your hands will have come into indirect contact with 15 penises (touching door handles etc.)

An average person's yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.

In a year you will have swallowed 14 insects - while you slept!

Annually you will shake hands with 11 people who have recently masturbated and failed to wash their hands.

At an average wedding reception you have a 1/100 chance of getting a cold sore from one of the guests.

Daily you will breath in 1 litre of other peoples' anal gases.

Have a nice day. Please wash your hands.





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