When I was about 4 years old, I wandered over to the neighbors’ house and asked to borrow some maple syrup. I then proceeded to hide in their bushes and DRINK the bottle of syrup. They of course caught me squatting in their yard, covered from head to toe in sticky goop. I still remember the look on the neighbor’s face that conveyed the question: “What the Fuck?”
I also have a memory of making sugar sandwiches. That’s right, two pieces of bread filled with about an inch of white sugar.
There was also a time when I would keep cake mix in my room and would eat it raw.
My days as a shoplifter had me pocketing 15 candy bars at a time and eating them all.
I was an addict from an early age. I think it may have been due to heredity; I come from a family of sugar heads. It is an addiction that helps me to understand why smokers have such a hard time quitting or why crack heads will end up in rehab time and time again.
To my mothers’ credit, we were not allowed to eat sugar cereals, except when we visited my grandparents we could eat captain crunch. The jagged edges of the sharp cereal squares cut the shit out of your mouth, but we did not care, because it was filled with sugary goodness.
I do hate this addiction. I have experimented with most drugs, but never got hooked. I used to smoke when I drank and could smoke a whole pack one night and wake up the next day not even craving another one. I like a good cocktail, but don’t drink unless out with friends. I find sex addictions interesting, but alas, I don’t have one. It is just this one little substance made naturally from nature’s earth that has me by the throat.
I can’t go a day without thinking about candy, or cookies or hostess ho ho’s. I cannot keep any sugary snacks in the house, because I will eat them. I am not an overeater, but if there is a candy bar in the house, all I will think about during dinner is when I can get my hands on the chocolate.
Halloween is my favorite holiday. I will have to buy the candy for the trick-or-treaters the day of or there will not be any left to hand out at the door. I will have to turn off all the lights and hide out in shame.
Sasha is trying to quit smoking right now with the aid of the Nicotine Patch and medication that will help calm his anxiety. I know he has a hard road ahead of him. Is there such a thing as a Sugar Patch?