Smoke
12:34 p.m. on December 22, 2004

My in-laws have been here since Saturday. They are nice folks from Wisconsin. I like them and we get along pretty well. They are smart with a similar belief system to mine, which helps. There is just one problem: They are chain smokers from hell.

It is weird having them both visit simultaneously, because they have been divorced for over ten years. After 25 years of marriage, he left her for some young, blond chickie. Last January, his blond wife left him for a male version of herself. He was immediately diagnosed with prostate cancer, had surgery and got back together with Sasha’s Mom, despite her seething hatred for him for the last decade.

Last year, the mother-in-law came out by herself for THREE WEEKS! Asking her to smoke outside is not an option, as she would be outside the entire visit. We have an extra room that doubles as a laundry room and recreation room. It can close off from the rest of the house and is at the opposite end as our bedroom, so we let her smoke in there. It has a comfy sofa, good lighting and cable TV. This was a better solution than the year before, when we lived in another location and we let her smoke in the basement. Smoke rises, people, so I was asphyxiated on a nightly basis.

Last year she spent basically the entire 3 weeks in that room, even sleeping in there as she likes to smoke literally 24 hours a day, even while asleep. Despite our bedroom being across the house from the rec. room, the smoke still found its way to choke me every night. It is a real problem for me, because this is the exact thing that killed my own mother, so I am not so keen on having to inhale it second hand.

This year, they are only here for ten days, but it is the two of them so it may as well be 3 weeks worth of smoke concentrate. Sasha is in the throws of trying to quit smoking. He is doing pretty well, but I swear to god, his Mom tries to get him to smoke her cigarettes constantly and that’s not right.

Again, we do not see much of them, as they like to smoke one right after another after another as they watch TV. If I have a question for them, I have to wait until they come out to use the bathroom, as I just cannot bear to go in there. Trouble is, I have a shipload of laundry to do.





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