Why I hate the smell of fake peach
12:43 p.m. on January 26, 2005

Why I hate the smell of fake peach.

When I was a kid, there were 3 other girls around my age that lived on my block and we were all friends from age 9 to about 12 years old. We would run around together doing what little kids do: playing games, going swimming, pretending we were Charlie’s Angels or characters from the movie Greece (I was always Rizo). We appeared quite innocent, but we were also criminals and would wreak havoc within a 4-mile radius of where we lived. If we were not shoplifting or destroying public property, we were committing B & E. We would break into just about any place possible. The clubhouse at the golf course, the concessions stand at the public pool, churches, schools, etc. We had so much fun and no one in the position of authority was ever the wiser.

We scored the mother load one day when we figured out how to break in to an abandoned house on our block. It was owned by the Hurt family (yes, that is actually their last name) who consisted of one mother and about a dozen kids ranging in age from 15 to 1 year old. They seemed to just sort of disappear one day and their house remained empty for a few years, until we made it our own private full-size clubhouse. It really added to the make believe effect of “playing house” when you have an actual house to play it in. The family left a ton of their stuff behind, so we had an adventure going through all of it, like discovering a treasure or solving a mystery. We found paint and wallpaper and decided to redecorate the place, kid-style; every room became a work of art.

There was one huge drawback to playing in the Hurt house, however; it smelled to high heaven. The dozen kids growing up there must have been allowed to piss and defecate wherever they wanted, because every inch of that house stank. In order to combat the stench, we sprayed bandanas with this peach perfume I had gotten for my birthday and we tied the bandanas around our noses and mouths. To this day, whenever I catch a whiff of that fake peach smell, I am reminded of the disgusting odor of a giant human toilet.

Hey, by the way, check out a new diary by poopiebitch

She also has a really amazing photo blog here.

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