Beth draws a blank
1:15 p.m. on 2006-03-30
Man, I was so excited when I saw the offer to do a guest entry here. I’ve read the interesting little things written by others already and I was thinking that I’d get to do that to. Now when it comes down to actually writing it I’m having a difficult time. I tried to think of defining moments in my life…. but there is no huge significant event that changed me or stands out. Then I thought about writing an “anecdote from my childhood” but I’m still a child so everyday seems to fit that description. All of these options laid out for me just seem impossible right now.
I guess I could write about how shy I was as a kid. People would look at me and I would have little heart attacks. I was a tiny little spazz case that spent most of my early childhood hiding behind somebody’s legs. This somebody was my mom because apparently men petrified me. Once we went to visit my Aunt and Uncle and I asked if “the scary man” would be there. The scary man was my Uncle who made me blocks and is not even remotely frightening. They assured me he wouldn’t be. That was a lie. He opened the door and I ran screaming to the garage and refused to come out until he went to work. This fear of men dissipated as I got older.
And that makes me think of my first boyfriend. My brother is five years older than me and both he and my father are fiercely overprotective. I tried to hide it but it was really difficult when the boy kept trying to shove his tongue in my mouth in front of everyone. I, still being shy and fairly passive, didn’t have the heart to be rude and push him away. Mostly I just hoped someone would come by and save me. Usually they did. Now my father found out and thankfully pretended it wasn’t happening. My brother however did not know but was suspicious (of every boy who ever looked at me). Now one day my boyfriend called and my brother happened to answer the phone. I expected a “hello” and perhaps a brutal bout of teasing. I did not expect him to shout, “Prick!” into the phone and hang up. I tried to feel bad but mostly I didn’t like the boy very much and just ended up laughing really hard.
This doesn’t even compare to the time that my mom called the boy I had the hugest crush on by my name and hit him in the arm. She really had thought it was me. I’ll admit that it was dark and she’d walked around a corner but still, it was terribly embarrassing for everyone involved. She blames the black t-shirts we were both wearing. I asked her if she’d do it to the next boy who came in because it was the funniest thing I had ever seen. His face went red and if possible he ducked his head down more than he ever had before. My mom stuttered and blushed and apologized profusely. I laughed in the corner until I fell over and hit the counter. I didn’t laugh quite so hard after that happened.
When I think about it maybe these are the defining moments in my life. The times when I could have acted differently and become a different person but maybe that’s every moment. I would have drawn a picture of the future but then I would have had to leave the page blank because I honestly don’t know what my future may hold. I can’t even guess. And there isn’t really a photo that sums up my life. One picture just isn’t good enough for that.
So I’d like to think I followed the guidelines and lived up to all the other entries in here. If not at least I got to laugh at the memories that this dragged up. Anyhow, I’m tofalldivine and I guess my time is up.




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