MISTER GREEN JEANS
10:59 a.m. on March 17, 2006

1. I feel lonely or something.
2. Today is Friday AND payday.
3. That is better than it being Thursday AND garbage day.
4. Today is also St. Patrick’s Day.
5. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
6. I am Irish, but I am not wearing green.
7. I did bring in a green cake for my co-workers so soon I will have a green tongue.
8. Yesterday I was at a café with an old co-worker friend.
9. I was eating a brownie.
10. Suddenly my friend saw her other friend walk by the window, so we both jumped up to try and catch her, abandoning my brownie in the process.
11. After about 10 minutes, we returned to the café.
12. Someone was sitting at our table, but my half-eaten brownie was still there.
13. I walked up to the table and said: “Oooh brownie, can I have a bite?”
14. I took a bite and walked away.
15. This reminded me of the time I worked at a central reservations service for hotels.
16. There was a bunch of us sitting in a room waiting for the phone to ring.
17. We would listen to the radio during our shifts.
18. One night that song by The Goo Goo dolls came on.
19. It was actually played in heavy rotation at the time and I hated the fuck out of that song.
20. I called the radio station to tell them so.
21. I was meaner than I had ever been, because that song was slowly killing me.
22. The DJ said: “What did the Goo Goo Dolls ever do to you?”
23. I totally forgot that I was training someone that day and she was shadowing all my calls.
24. My teenage niece and nephew are coming to spend 4 days with us in April.
25. They are good kids.
26. TOO good.
27. I am going to teach them how to rebel against their parents.
28. Just kidding, Annette.
29. I have a lot of work to do today.
30. I don’t feel like it.
31. Sometimes I think it would be nice to be in a coma for a day.
32. WHAT?!
33. I am already in a kind of coma.
34. Brain death.
35. Actually I feel like kicking some ass.
36. On my drive home last night, some dude was totally riding my ass.
37. He was tail-gaiting me so hard, it had to have taken extreme concentration on his part.
38. It was truly unnerving.
39. Finally he shifted lanes and passed me.
40. I immediately got directly behind him and rode his ass as hard as I could.
41. “See how you like it, BITCH!”
42. He did not like it at all, as his eyes told me in his rear view mirror.
43. See, what did I tell you? Bain death set in for me a long time ago.
44. This diary sucks.






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