An example of my poor luck or extreme spazdom
10:39 a.m. on July 19, 2005

One of the better aspects of my job is the casual dress, but with the bigwigs visiting this week, we were asked to step it up several notches. I dug out my old business skirt (I had not worn since my interview here 2.5 years ago) & a nice top. It was to be a long day of meetings & then an after-hours dinner cruise with businessmen. As much as I do not love that kind of thing, I did not want to blow it; making a good impression was important.

About 15 minutes before we were supposed to leave for the boat, I was killing time at my desk when I sat awkwardly in my chair & heard a terrible noise. Sure enough, I popped the seam in the ass of my skirt. Holy fucking hell, what have I done? I ran to the bathroom to assess the damage. It was noticeable if you were looking directly at it & I figured with a boat full of businessmen, someone was bound to look. Why this could not have occurred 2 hours earlier when I would have had a chance to run home & change, I do not know. If I pulled my top down enough, it might camouflage it, so I walked down to the boat with major trepidation about the next 3 hours. I figured I could walk behind everyone else & then grab seat & stay put for the duration.

Minutes before boarding, I remembered I had a sweater in the trunk of my car. Though the evening was too warm for a sweater, that baby was going around my waste, giving me major reassurance, despite how it made me look. This turned out to be my saving grace, because throughout the 3-hour tour trapped on a boat with a dozen strangers, my skirt continued to rip until the full moon of my ass was hanging out, covered only by the miracle sweater. Besides feeling like a huge dork, the evening went off without a hitch & my butt was saved.

Space Holder. - February 12, 2012

BEAUTIFUL BOY - August 26, 2011

COUNTDOWN - July 13, 2011

SEXAY - June 16, 2011


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