9:49 a.m. on March 02, 2006

Yesterday at the Supermarket, I bought something weird that I have never bought before: A pregnancy test. I selected the cheapest one that gave you two tests for $9.99. I tried to disguise it by piling on bags of frozen vegetables on top of the box at the check out line, but the female cashier saw it and felt she needed to comment: “Awwww! Wow! Oh well, I hope it comes out the way you want”, she giggled. I paused an awkward10 seconds before confiding that I hoped it was a yes. She tittered and said she hoped so too.

The box said you could do it any time of day, but that the pregnancy hormones were strongest in the morning, so I decided to wait until then. When we got up this morning, Sasha started paying bills while I peed on the stick. We waited the recommended 3 minutes before seeing the results. I was so nervous, but Sasha had not a care in the world. On our way to the bathroom to look at the stick, he stopped to fill his coffee cup.

The stick had one line instead of two, which means we have to keep trying. I was pretty upset, more than I thought I would be. This is our 4th try and it is hard to go through the waiting and wondering and not knowing. I never thought I wanted to have kids until recently, so I can’t help but worry if I am too old or have done too much damage to my body or too much damage to the fate-heavy cosmos.

Only one thing left to do: get drunk this weekend as though it is the last time and then in about 10 days, get back on that bike.

Space Holder. - February 12, 2012

BEAUTIFUL BOY - August 26, 2011

COUNTDOWN - July 13, 2011

SEXAY - June 16, 2011


paleo neo