| I am a Spaz |
| 1:16 p.m. on May 02, 2005 |
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I am a spaz. Early proof of this short coming are the following incidents, although I have hundreds of examples: When I was in the 3rd grade, I was chasing Lacey Lopez on the playground and got so excited about catching her, that I ripped the jumper of her school uniform. The look on her face said: Damn it, you SPAZ! In the 5th grade, two of my friends were crouched on the top of this incline, looking at something on the ground. In full spastic fashion, I took it upon myself to shove my friends so they went tumbling and rolling down the incline into the spindly blackberry bushes. I almost died from laughter, even though they could have been quite hurt. At slumber parties, I was always the last to fall asleep and would get quite disappointed to be the only one awake. I would pretend to sleep walk to get attention or would draw on the sleeper�s faces or would try to terrify them awake with blood curdling screams. Yes, very annoying. Why am I such a spaz? I blame part of this on genetics and the rest of it on sugar. I am highly susceptible to sugar, but also quite addicted. After one cookie, I can feel my heart begin to race and my blood gets thick in my veins as I try to calm down with deep breathing exercises in an effort to stop myself from running around the room in sugar-fueled lunacy. It is sort of pathetic to be a 35-year old spaz, but no matter how much I repeat my mantra: �Don�t be a spaz, don�t be a spaz�, I can�t seem to help it. I am super shy in groups where I may not know everyone, but can still lapse in to super spaz-mode. I may have lost some friends because of this and I for sure have not gained any. It is the worst when I am with a group of people I feel wholly comfortable with and the drink is flowing. I inevitably need to apologize to someone after our weekly poker game, as I cannot shut the fuck up, tend to scream bloody murder when I win or lose and invariably call someone a cocksucker.
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