12:44 p.m. on December 31, 2005

You will eat too many Trans fats.

Your president will spend too much of your money.

You will buy approximately 210 gifts.

You will see about 8 million advertisements.

You won’t get enough sleep during the week, so you will try to make it up by sleeping for 14 hours one particular Saturday in April.

You will make silent judgments on others.

You will do approximately 160 loads of laundry.

Someone you know will die.

You will go to 3 weddings and 2.5 baby showers.

You will hate your job at least 14 times.

There will be more natural catastrophes.

There will be a major earthquake on the West coast; hopefully not the “Big One”.

You will have several bouts of sadness, but be happy the majority of days.

You will want to punch someone in the face, but you won’t.

You will learn 1000 new things, but will forget 806 of them.

You will swear a lot.

You will laugh a lot.

You might have a baby. Or get a dog. Or both.

You will be irrationally afraid of a home invasion.

You will take a trip and then you will say you need a vacation from your vacation.

You will put your foot in your mouth.

You will laugh at your boss’ lame joke.

You will laugh at your own lame joke. For hours.

You will break a promise.

Television will be your best friend.

You will wonder on two different occasions if you have the bird flu.

You will have sex, but not nearly enough.

You will wash many, many, many dishes.

You will waste a lot of time and money.

You will question everything.

You will be jealous.

You will be a good friend.

The news at 11 will be depressing.

You will wonder if you are doing the right thing.

You will over-use the snooze button.

You will act like an ass.

The war will continue.

You will work too much.

You will be loved.

You will survive.


Space Holder. - February 12, 2012

BEAUTIFUL BOY - August 26, 2011

COUNTDOWN - July 13, 2011

SEXAY - June 16, 2011


paleo neo