You can pick your friends...
10:53 a.m. on December 16, 2004

Yesterday while driving home, I was stopped at a stoplight when I looked in my rear view mirror. There was a guy behind me driving a beat up old Chevy. The car was white and rust colored with a devil duck air freshener hanging from the mirror. The guy was slightly disheveled and looked a little younger than me. Just as I was about to put an Altoid in my mouth, I glanced back at the guy and he was picking his nose. I paused in horror as he then proceeded to eat the boogar. I became instantly queasy, but I could not look away. I am not so naive that I do not know that people sometimes pick their nose and sometimes eat the contents and often do this in public, but this guy continued to put his finger in his nose and put the same finger in his mouth, gnawing at his fingernail to make sure to get every last morsel. The finger went in his nose, in his mouth, in his nose, in his mouth, in his nose, in his mouth and then it dug around in his nose some more only to be deposited into his mouth. It was like he had not eaten for a week and was starving for some crusty, salty goodness. I could not believe the ferocity of which he put into this unseemly act. After what seemed an eternity, the light finally turned green, signaling us to move forward. Just as I hit the accelerator, I looked at him one more time through the rear view mirror and I waved. I did the classic rear view mirror wave, mostly reserved for when people let you merge in front of them. I made sure he saw my eyes looking at him and my smile smiling at him, and I waved with glee. He instantly stopped picking his nose, looked right at me and froze. I could see the realization wash over his face that he is not alone in the world and when you do gross things in public, chances are, people are going to see you do it. His expression was one of true mortification. It took him a full 3 beats before he at last accelerated through the green light. He immediately changed lanes and stayed at least 3 car spaces behind me in a very obvious attempt to avoid my judging eye. I laughed and felt nauseous all the rest of the way home.

Space Holder. - February 12, 2012

BEAUTIFUL BOY - August 26, 2011

COUNTDOWN - July 13, 2011

SEXAY - June 16, 2011


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